Waitress: let me get this mess out of your way Me: I already called her an Uber, but thanks anyways relationship funny meme

hen you finally let him see our crazy side but it's too late for him to escape love and relationship funny dating men facts women facts

I am Going To Let GOD FIX IT BECAUSE IF I FIX IT I'M GOING TO JAIL funny animals Black Cat meme

Motivation Quote Work Hard In Silence; Let Success Make The Noise

stop letting it bother you, just let it go relationship

When you get into a stupid argument with bae and want to apologize, but your pride isn't gonna let you do that. love and relationship funny dating

food CHICKEN MARINADE ▫️500 gram chicken ▫️6 gr salt (1 tsp) ▫️3 gr garlic powder (1 tsp) ▫️2 gr black pepper (⅔ tsp) FLOUR MIXTURE ▫️1 egg (m) ▫️150 ml water ▫️1.5 gr salt (¼ tsp) ▫️2 gr black pepper (⅔ tsp) ▫️3 gr garlic powder (1 tsp) ▫️120 gr flour ▫️3 gr baking powder (1 tsp) ▫️sunflower oil SAUCE ▫️15 ml sunflower oil ▫️1 garlic clove ▫️85 gr honey ▫️100 gr ketchup ▫️20 gr soy sauce Cut the chicken fillet into small pieces. Add the salt, garlic powder, and black pepper. Mix well. Put the egg in a deep bowl. Add the water, salt, garlic powder, flour, and baking powder. Mix until a uniform mixture. Add the chicken pieces and let stand for 10 minutes. Heat a layer of sunflower oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat (170 ℃). Fry the chicken until golden brown on both sides. Put the sunflower oil in a pan and add the grated garlic. Fry for 2 minutes. Add the honey, ketchup, and soy sauce. Cook for 2 minutes over low heat. Add the chicken and let it cook until the sauce is well absorbed.

Food RASPBERRY MIXTURE 200 g raspberries 60 g granulated sugar COOKIE DOUGH 200 g Maria biscuits 75 g macadamia nuts (unsalted) 100 ml heavy cream (unwhipped) 250 g white chocolate COATING Grated coconut TOPPING 125 g white chocolate Place the raspberries and sugar in a skillet over medium heat. Simmer gently for 5-7 minutes, stirring regularly. Place a sieve over a bowl and pour the raspberry mixture into the sieve. Press firmly with a spatula or spoon to separate the juice from the seeds. Transfer the raspberry mixture into a piping bag and set aside. Finely grind the Maria biscuits in a food processor. Finely grind the macadamia nuts as well. Bring the heavy cream to just below boiling (do not boil). Add the white chocolate (250 g, broken into pieces). Let it sit for 1 minute and then mix until smooth. In a deep bowl, combine the ground Maria biscuits, ground macadamia nuts, and white chocolate ganache. Mix well. Take 20 g of dough and roll it into a ball. Repeat until all the dough is used. Spread grated coconut on a plate. Roll each ball in the coconut until fully covered. Place the coated balls on a sheet of baking paper. Use a cookie cutter or ring (Ø 4 cm) to center each ball. Gently press a shallow hole in the middle with the back of a wooden spoon, your finger, or another tool. Repeat for all the balls. Melt 125 g of white chocolate in a bain-marie (double boiler). Transfer the melted chocolate to a piping bag. Fill each indentation with a layer of raspberry mixture. Drizzle melted white chocolate on top. Finally, pipe a small amount of raspberry mixture on each cookie and use a toothpick to create a decorative pattern. Cover the raspberry macadamia cookies and refrigerate until set, preferably overnight.

food DOUGH 80 g chips of your choice 450 g flour (pastry flour) 25 g chips 40 ml sunflower oil 7 g instant yeast (1 sachet - 1 tablespoon) 7 g salt (1⅙ teaspoon) 10 g honey 225 ml water (lukewarm) TOPPING 45 g crushed chips 15 g Parmesan cheese 20 g young Gouda cheese EXTRA Milk MEAT MIXTURE 35 ml olive oil 600 g ground meat 4.5 g salt (⅔ teaspoon) 3 g garlic powder (1 teaspoon) 4 g onion powder (1⅓ teaspoon) 3 g cayenne powder (1 teaspoon) 1 g black pepper powder (⅓ teaspoon) 0.5 g dried parsley 25 g tomato paste 65 ml water 20 g sweet soy sauce 15 g sambal Cheddar cheese (4 slices) Additional crushed chips Finely grind the chips (of your choice) using a food processor. In a bowl, combine the flour, 25 grams of the finely ground chips, sunflower oil, yeast, salt, honey, and lukewarm water. Mix and knead the dough for 10-12 minutes. Cover the bowl and let the dough rise for 1 hour, or until it doubles in size. Deflate the dough and divide it into 9 equal pieces, each weighing about 85 grams. Roll each ball of dough into a flat circle about 9 cm in diameter. In a bowl, mix the finely ground chips (45 grams), Parmesan cheese, and young Gouda cheese. Dip each piece of dough first into the milk and then into the cheese-and-chips mixture. Place the pieces of dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and carefully make a few slits on the tops. Allow the rolls to rise for 30 minutes, or until they double in size. Preheat the oven to 200°C. Bake the rolls for 12-18 minutes, or until golden brown. Cover the bread with a clean tea towel immediately after baking. Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the ground meat, salt, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne powder, black pepper powder, and dried parsley. Cook for 6 minutes. Add the tomato paste, water, sweet soy sauce, and sambal. Mix well and cook for another 4-5 minutes. Layer the cheddar cheese slices and the remaining crushed chips over the meat mixture. Let it cook until the cheese is fully melted.

food DOUGH 200 ml lukewarm milk 30 g white caster sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 sachet) 7 g instant yeast (1 tbsp or 1 sachet) 1 egg (medium) 50 ml sunflower oil 25 g unsalted butter 450 g all-purpose flour 4 g salt (⅔ tsp) EXTRA 1 egg (medium) 38 g vanilla pudding mix (1 sachet) FOR THE FILLING 250 g mascarpone 8 g vanilla sugar (1 sachet) 50 g powdered sugar 250 ml heavy cream (unwhipped) Half of the prepared vanilla pudding (see steps 3 and 4) TOPPING powdered sugar fruit ________________________________________ INSTRUCTIONS Add lukewarm milk, white caster sugar, vanilla sugar, and yeast to a deep bowl. Mix well and let sit for 5 minutes to activate the yeast. Add the whisked egg, sunflower oil, melted butter, flour, and salt. Mix and knead the dough by hand or with a stand mixer for 10-12 minutes until smooth. Cover the bowl and let the dough rise in a warm spot for 1 hour or until doubled in size. Prepare the vanilla pudding according to the package instructions. Set aside half for the cream filling. In a deep bowl, combine mascarpone, vanilla sugar, and powdered sugar. Mix for about 1 minute. Gradually add the heavy cream while mixing until firm. Fold in half of the prepared vanilla pudding. Transfer the cream to a piping bag fitted with a nozzle and refrigerate. Deflate the dough and divide it into 10 equal portions. Shape each piece into a ball. Roll out each ball into a circle. Then roll the dough into a log. Press the ends of the log firmly closed and gently flatten it with a rolling pin. Place the dough on a baking tray lined with parchment paper. Pipe a thin layer of vanilla pudding on top of each log. Brush the sides with whisked egg. Let the dough rise in a warm place for another 30 minutes or until doubled in size. Preheat the oven to 200°C (390°F). Bake the bread for 10-15 minutes until browned. Check periodically. Allow the bread to cool completely. Slice each roll horizontally in half. Pipe a layer of cream on the bottom half and place the top half back on.

food PISTACHIO PASTE 100 g pistachios (unsalted) 65 g white caster sugar 1 egg white (medium) 20 ml water BROWNIE BATTER 125 g unsalted butter 150 g dark chocolate 160 g white caster sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 packet) pinch of salt 1 egg (medium) 1 egg yolk (medium) 90 g all-purpose flour 10 g cocoa powder COOKIE DOUGH 85 g unsalted butter 50 g brown sugar 50 g granulated sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 packet) pinch of salt 1 egg (medium) 150 g all-purpose flour 3 g baking powder 100 g chocolate (milk or dark chocolate, chopped) INSTRUCTIONS PISTACHIO PASTE Place the pistachios, white caster sugar, egg white, and water in a food processor. Blend until smooth. Set aside. BROWNIE BATTER Melt the butter (125 g) and dark chocolate together in a bain-marie. Let the mixture cool. Add the white caster sugar, vanilla sugar, and salt to the melted chocolate mixture and stir well. Mix in the egg and egg yolk until smooth. Sift the flour and cocoa powder over the mixture and fold until just combined to avoid overmixing. Place the pistachio paste and brownie batter in piping bags. Alternatively, use sandwich bags and snip off a small corner. COOKIE DOUGH Melt the butter (85 g) and let it cool. Combine the softened butter with the brown sugar, granulated sugar, vanilla sugar, salt, and egg in a large bowl. Mix until smooth. Sift the flour and baking powder over the mixture and combine to form a dough. Add the chopped chocolate and knead briefly until evenly distributed. ASSEMBLY Line a baking pan with parchment paper. Spread half of the brownie batter over the bottom of the pan. Drop chunks of half the cookie dough over the brownie layer. Pipe pistachio paste into the gaps between the cookie dough pieces. Spread the remaining brownie batter evenly over the top. Add the rest of the cookie dough in chunks on top. BAKING Preheat the oven to 175°C (350°F). Bake the brookies with pistachio paste for 30-38 minutes. Check with a skewer—if it comes out with a few moist crumbs, they’re done. Allow the brookies to cool completely before slicing.

food recipe DOUGH 425 g all-purpose flour 75 g fine semolina 7 g instant yeast (1 tablespoon or 1 packet) 8 g salt (1⅓ teaspoons) 0.5 g thyme 12 g honey 25 ml olive oil 280 ml water (lukewarm) CHICKEN PESTO 600 g chicken thighs 4.5 g salt (⅔ teaspoon) 2 g cayenne pepper (⅔ teaspoon) 3 g garlic powder (1 teaspoon) 4 g onion powder (1⅓ teaspoons) 2 g cumin (⅔ teaspoon) 30 ml olive oil 25 g unsalted butter 45 g fresh green pesto 150 g roasted red bell pepper (1 roasted red bell pepper) 75 g red onion (1 red onion) 150 g cheese (your choice) SAUCE fresh green pesto truffle mayonnaise In a large bowl, combine the flour, fine semolina, yeast, salt, thyme, honey, olive oil, and lukewarm water. Mix well and knead for 10-12 minutes until smooth. Cover the dough and let it rise in a warm spot for 1 hour, or until doubled in size. Deflate the dough and divide it into 14 equal pieces, about 57 grams each. Shape each piece into a ball. Roll one ball into a circle and fold it in half. Place the folded dough on a baking tray lined with parchment paper. Repeat with the remaining dough. Allow to rise for another 30 minutes or until doubled in size. Heat a heavy-bottomed skillet over medium heat. Bake the rolls on both sides until golden brown, a few minutes per side. Wash and cut the chicken thighs into pieces and place them in a large bowl. Add salt, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, and olive oil. Mix well. Heat the butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook for 4-5 minutes until golden brown. Add the green pesto, sliced roasted red bell pepper, and red onion. Stir and cook for another 3-4 minutes until everything is well combined and heated through. Remove the skillet from the heat and place cheese slices over the chicken. Cover with a lid to help the cheese melt. Open each roll and fill it with the chicken pesto mixture. Serve with green pesto and a drizzle of truffle mayonnaise for added flavor.

food recipe No bake COOKIE MIXTURE 220 g Maria biscuits 100 ml heavy cream 300 g milk chocolate 150 g caramel TOPPING 100 g milk chocolate 25 g caramel Instructions: Heat the heavy cream in a saucepan until just below boiling point. Remove from heat and add 300 g milk chocolate. Let it sit for 1 minute, then stir into a smooth ganache. Roughly chop the Maria biscuits using a food processor or a knife. Place them in a large bowl and mix with the chocolate ganache until combined. Spread half of the cookie mixture into a tray and press it down firmly. Evenly drizzle 150 g caramel sauce over it. Cover with the remaining cookie mixture and smooth out the top. Use plastic wrap to press it down tightly. Refrigerate for at least 4-5 hours, preferably overnight. Melt 100 g milk chocolate using a double boiler (bain-marie). Pour the melted chocolate evenly over the cookie mixture. Immediately drizzle 25 g caramel sauce in thin lines over the chocolate. Use a toothpick or skewer to create a decorative pattern in the caramel and chocolate. Cover and refrigerate until the topping is set. Slice the chocolate-caramel bars into squares and serve.

food recipe CAKE BATTER 4 eggs (medium) 185 g light brown sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 packet) 0.1 g salt (a pinch) 65 g unsalted butter 100 ml sunflower oil 125 ml milk 2 g cinnamon powder (⅔ teaspoon) 225 g walnuts 100 g milk chocolate 200 g all-purpose flour 8 g baking powder FILLING 175 g caramel TOPPING 75 ml heavy cream (unwhipped) 150 g milk chocolate 25 g caramel GARNISH walnuts Melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Let it cool completely. Finely grind the walnuts and milk chocolate using a food processor. Crack the eggs into a large bowl. Add the light brown sugar, vanilla sugar, and salt. Whisk with a mixer until airy. Pour the melted butter, sunflower oil, and milk into the egg mixture. Mix until well combined. Add the cinnamon powder, ground walnuts, and ground milk chocolate. Mix thoroughly. Sift the flour and baking powder into the bowl and mix until smooth. Pour one-third of the batter into a baking pan lined with parchment paper and greased. Pipe a layer of caramel over the batter. Repeat with another third of the batter, followed by caramel, and finish with the remaining batter. Bake the cake for 30-40 minutes in a preheated oven at 175°C (347°F). Check regularly, as ovens can vary. Let the cake cool completely. Heat the heavy cream in a small saucepan until just below boiling. Remove from heat and add the milk chocolate. Let it sit for 1 minute, then stir until smooth to create a ganache. Pour the ganache over the cooled cake. Pipe some caramel over the ganache and let the cake set in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight. Slice the cake into pieces and garnish with walnuts.

food recipe DOUGH 400 g flour (all-purpose) 7 g yeast (1 tablespoon or 1 packet) 8 g salt (1⅓ teaspoon) 15 g honey 10 ml vinegar 40 ml sunflower oil 200 ml lukewarm water EXTRA nori sheets sesame seeds 1 egg (medium) TUNA SALAD 300 g tuna (in sunflower oil) 60 g pickles 35 g red onion 75 g mayonnaise 50 g samurai sauce SERVE WITH lettuce nori sheets cucumber fried onions samurai sauce avocado Place the flour, yeast, salt, honey, vinegar, sunflower oil, and lukewarm water in a large bowl. Mix well and knead the dough for 10-12 minutes. Cover the dough and let it rise in a warm spot for 1 hour or until it doubles in siz. Dust your work surface with flour and roll out the dough into a rectangular sheet. Cut the dough vertically in half and fold each piece inward. Then, cut into 8 equal pieces. Place the pieces of dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Brush with the beaten egg, add pieces of nori on top, and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Let the dough rise for another 30 minutes in a warm place or until it doubles in size. Preheat the oven to 200°C (392°F). Bake the sushi rolls for 15-18 minutes until golden brown. Keep an eye on the baking time, as this may vary for each oven. For the tuna salad, mix the tuna, pickles, red onion, mayonnaise, and samurai sauce in a large bowl. Slice a bread roll in half and layer with a bit of mayonnaise, lettuce, nori, samurai sauce, tuna salad, fried onions, avocado, extra samurai sauce, and sesame seeds.

food recipe DOUGH 350 g flour (all-purpose) 4 g salt (⅔ teaspoon) 10 g honey 125 ml water 90 g cream cheese TOMATO MIXTURE 70 g tomato paste 120 ml water 1 g Italian seasoning FILLING 275 g grated cheese Place the flour, salt, water, honey, and cream cheese in a large bowl. Mix well and knead the dough for 10-12 minutes. Cover the bowl and let the dough rest for 10-20 minutes. In a separate bowl, combine the tomato paste, water, and Italian seasoning, stirring until smooth. Divide the dough into 9 equal pieces and shape into small balls. Take a ball of dough and roll it out into a flat circle. Spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on one half, then sprinkle with some grated cheese. Moisten the edges of the dough with a little water and fold it over, sealing it well. Heat a skillet over medium heat and cook the filled dough on both sides until golden brown and fully cooked. Cover with a tea towel to keep the gozleme soft.

food recipe DOUGH 175 ml milk (lukewarm) 20 g granulated sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 tablespoon) 7 g instant yeast (1 tablespoon) 35 g unsalted butter 25 ml sunflower oil 1 egg (medium) 400 g flour (all-purpose) 5 g salt (⅚ teaspoon) FILLING 16 cream cheese wedges (at room temperature) GARNISH 250 g honey Pistachios (or walnuts) Melt the butter over low heat in a saucepan and let it cool. In a large bowl, add the lukewarm milk, granulated sugar, vanilla sugar, and yeast. Stir well with a whisk. Add the sunflower oil, beaten egg, and melted butter. Mix well. Then add the flour and salt. Mix and knead the dough for 10-12 minutes until it is smooth and elastic. Cover the dough and let it rise in a warm place for 1 hour until it has doubled in size. Place the cream cheese wedges in a bowl and mix until smooth. Divide the dough into two equal parts of about 350 grams each. Dust your work surface with flour and roll one part of the dough into a rectangle. Spread half of the cream cheese over the dough. Repeat with the other half. Roll the dough tightly. Cut into equal-sized pieces. Place the dough rolls (swirls) on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Let them rise for 30 minutes or until they have doubled in size. Preheat the oven to 200 °C (390 °F). Bake the swirls for 12-18 minutes until golden brown and cooked through. Check the baking time, as each oven is different. Brush the warm swirls with honey and garnish with chopped pistachios or walnuts.

food recipe PEANUT MIXTURE 300 g milk chocolate 85 g peanuts (unsalted) FILLING caramel (Bebogeen) COATING 250 g white chocolate Instructions: Coarsely grind the peanuts in a food processor (not too fine). Melt the milk chocolate using a double boiler. In a bowl, combine the ground peanuts with the melted milk chocolate until well mixed. Fill a piping bag with the chocolate-peanut mixture and another piping bag with the caramel. You can also use a sandwich bag if you don't have piping bags. Take a silicone mold and pipe a layer of the peanut-chocolate mixture into it. Add a small amount of caramel on top, followed by another layer of the peanut-chocolate mixture. Allow the chocolate to harden; you can place the mold in the freezer to speed up the process. Carefully remove the chocolate-peanut cones from the silicone mold. Melt the white chocolate using a double boiler. Dip each chocolate-peanut cone into the white chocolate to coat it. Place the cones on a baking paper-lined rack or tray and let them harden. Optionally, you can pipe some chocolate lines over them for a decorative touch.

food recipe RED VELVET BATTER 150 g unsalted butter 200 g white caster sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 packet) pinch of salt 2 eggs (medium) 4 g red gel food coloring 180 g flour (all-purpose) 8 g cocoa powder 3 g baking powder 100 g white chocolate CHEESECAKE BATTER 600 g cream cheese 250 g mascarpone 135 g granulated sugar 8 g vanilla sugar (1 packet) 45 g cornstarch 3 eggs (medium) chocolate cookies TOPPING 100 g white chocolate 45 ml heavy cream GARNISH whipped cream red velvet crumbs chocolate cookies RED VELVET BATTER Melt the butter (150 g) over low heat in a saucepan, then let it cool. Chop the white chocolate (100 g) into small pieces. Combine the flour, cocoa powder, and baking powder in a bowl. Mix well. In a large bowl, add the melted butter, white caster sugar, vanilla sugar, and salt. Mix for 1 minute. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing until smooth. Add the red gel food coloring and mix well. Sift the flour mixture over the bowl and mix for 1 minute. Fold in the chopped white chocolate. Grease a springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper. Spread the red velvet batter evenly over the base. Place the pan in a preheated oven at 170°C (340°F) and bake for 25-28 minutes. CHEESECAKE BATTER In a large bowl, combine the cream cheese and mascarpone and mix for 1 minute. Add the granulated sugar and vanilla sugar, mixing for another minute. Sift the cornstarch over the bowl and mix until smooth. Set aside the mixer and use a spatula to fold in the eggs one at a time. ASSEMBLY Pour half of the cheesecake batter over the warm red velvet layer. Spread the chocolate cookies over it, pressing them lightly into the batter. Pour the remaining cheesecake batter on top and smooth it out. BAKING Preheat the oven to 125°C (260°F) and bake the red velvet cheesecake for 55-65 minutes, until the sides are set and the center jiggles slightly. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the oven for 1 hour to prevent cracking. TOPPING Heat the cream until just below boiling. Add the white chocolate, let it sit for 1 minute, and stir until smooth to create a ganache. Pour the ganache over the cheesecake and refrigerate for several hours, preferably overnight. GARNISH Slice the red velvet cookie cheesecake into pieces. Garnish with dollops of whipped cream, red velvet crumbs, and chocolate cookies.

food recipe DOUGH 200 ml milk (lukewarm) 7 g instant yeast (1 tablespoon) 20 g honey 400 g flour (all-purpose) 1 egg (medium) 40 g butter (unsalted) 8 g salt (1⅓ teaspoon) 50 g fine semolina Meat 25 g butter (unsalted) 20 ml olive oil 450 g steak 5 g salt (⅚ teaspoon) 3 g cayenne pepper (1 teaspoon) 3 g paprika powder (1 teaspoon) 3 g onion powder (1 teaspoon) 2 g garlic powder (⅔ teaspoon) 1 g dried parsley 80 g red onion (1 red onion) 75 g red bell pepper (half a red bell pepper) grated cheese cheddar cheese Place the lukewarm milk, yeast, and honey in a bowl and mix well. Add the flour, beaten egg, butter, and salt. Mix and knead the dough for 10-12 minutes. Cover the dough and let it rise in a warm place for 1 hour or until it has doubled in size. Deflate the dough and divide it into 16 equal pieces, each weighing 40 grams. Form into a ball. Flatten each. Stack two pieces of dough on top of each other and press firmly with a rolling pin. Coat the dough in the fine semolina. Place the pieces of dough pieces on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Let them rise for 30 minutes or until doubled in size. Heat a heavy-bottomed skillet over medium heat. Cook the bread until golden brown. Heat the butter with olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the steak pieces, salt, cayenne powder, red bell pepper powder, onion powder, garlic powder, and dried parsley, and cook for 2-3 minutes. Add the red onion and red bell pepper and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Sprinkle with grated cheese and let it melt. Optional: Add a slice of cheddar cheese for extra flavor and allow it to melt.